Photo source: Mike Warren

Have you ever tried to run with your eyes closed? I tried that today on my run, its really hard, if not impossible for me to run more than 10 steps without my eyes opening of their own accord. Even though it was along a straight path I couldn’t do it for more than 10 steps. I was really scared that I was going to hit something, to trip over something or stray onto the road and get hit by a car.

And as I was thinking about this during the rest of my run, I wondered if our faith in God sometimes seems that way. Like we are asked to run blind, “have faith”, “trust in God”, and somehow carry on believing and living out our life without “seeing” our God or the path that we are to run clearly. How sometimes when I pray it just seems like I’m thinking/saying these words… How when I sing these worship songs I’m actually trying to just sing well because I like the sound of my own voice. Sometimes it feels that way. And sometimes it seems that I scramble to open my physical eyes to “see” the path that I am running on, trying to make sense of this God and this faith that I have through the circumstances that happen around me, trying to avoid tripping up in my faith, trying not too stray too far from ‘the path’ and get run over by some evil things in this world.

But I don’t think that is true. We should not feel like we are running blind. And trying to avoid sinning is not the way to run the race that we are on to victory. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you don’t have to be disciplined or that you don’t have to work to break bad habit and form godly ones, its just that I think that sometimes we miss the point. I know that I do, I focus on trying to not sin but end up thinking about it so much that I build up a huge amount of tension and sin anyway. and I confuse myself with the things that I think I should be doing with the things that God has told me to do. They might be good things, but as someone has said “good is the enemy of best.” But I stray from my point – which is that we focus on the wrong thing sometimes.

When I was running with my eyes closed I couldn’t stop the thought going through my mind: ‘oh crap, I can’t see, what if I fall over, what if I hit something, what if I get run over…. oh crap…’ And I think that a similar thought runs through my mind when I am not focused on God and on listening to the Holy Spirit and  on knowing what the word says – but when I’m feeling like I can’t see where I’m going its because I’m focused on that very thing. That I don’t know where I am going. And so I scramble to make plans, and to get myself involved in Church things and… get busy. And I lose sight of God and all the good things that he has done and will continue to do in my life.

Do I have to know where exactly I’m going? No, but it would be nice… I guess I’ll have to trust God that he has good plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11), that he’ll continue the good stuff he has started to form in me (Philippians 1:6), and that everything is under control. I’ll just have to keep on running, turning my eyes upon Jesus as that wonderful old hymn says, because then the things of this world will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

Had an interesting conversation with a guy who does the cleaning around my work about all sorts of things, and we have some good conversations about things that you wouldn’t think an old guy like him would talk about. I’m pleasantly surprised every time I have a conversation with him, as it challenges my perceptions of people. Not being derogatory in any way, as I genuinely like the guy, but I love being surprised by people being interested in things you wouldn’t think they’d be interested.  In.

Hmmmmm.

But as I was saying, we were talking about all sorts of things, and one thing that got me thinking a little bit was a comment that he made – about keeping up with technology or we would be left behind. And it got me thinking about how much of what I would like to own is because of this desire not to be left behind, as opposed to it actually being useful in my life and helping me to accomplish my goals.

And I wonder if it is that feeling of being left behind that causes a lot of panic or causes us to rush through things or makes us want to give up on certain things or even makes us want to give up some of our dreams.

I know for me that sometimes looking around and seeing where the people around me are at and what they have and own and do causes me to wonder if I’m pursuing the wrong goals in life or want to buy new things to match them or that I’m not progressing at the same pace as someone else and so I stop because all of a sudden I’m being left behind… and it all becomes a competition that is not spoken of explicitly and I get caught in comparing everything and get sucked into a value vacuum where the things that I value don’ t seem all that valuable any more. And I get depressed a little. And I lose my reference. And my peace. And my contentment.

Because I’m being left behind. In the car department. In the girlfriend department. In the buying a house department. In the fitness department. In the technology department.

But I know that down that road I will never find contentment. Because there will always be someone I know who drives a better, flashier, more powerful car than me. Someone will get a better deal on a house than me. Someone will always be more determined and naturally more fit than me. Someone will always have the latest computer/phone/gadget before they are even out in lil ‘ol NZ.

But if I keep looking around me at everything but at what I actually have, and make use of that to the best of my ability, then I don’t think I’ll ever get anywhere. And instead of being worried about being left behind because of what I don’t have, I think I’m going to try and keep moving forward making full use of what I do have. And pursuing the things that I enjoy.

So that was my random thought for the day. Tell me yours! =D